The Lament Configuration
by Da Games Elite
Summary: Pinkie Pie finds a new toy to play with, but soon finds herself in way over her head. It's up to Twilight Sparkle and the others to salvage her from something too evil to belong to their world. One Shot


The following fan-fiction is utterly impossible to take seriously. If you do, you deserve to be slapped hard across the face. If you leave all sense of morality, standards, and restrictions about a sugary annihilation at the door, you might enjoy this story. If not, well, we warned you.

…also I wrote this in like five minutes, so this is no pinnacle of high quality. Hell, I'm not even a huge fan of My Little Pony. I just did it for a quick laugh.

**The Lament Configuration**

**By Da Games Elite**

For years, the box had existed, dwelling in the darkest depths of the universe. Only the most depraved and desperate souls sought it, hunted for it, and, eventually, if their determination for the ultimate pleasure was strong enough, they would find it. Their nervous hands would unlock the box's potential within, and, with a little twist and rearrangement, the box would rearrange a person's soul until they were utterly unrecognizable. Their mutilated fragments of flesh would be splattered around the floor, their bones jetting out of the dark earth as their eternal soul was dragged into Hell, to experience pleasures beyond the comprehension of the mind, to experience pleasure that corporeal bodies failed to experience.

The experience the Cenobites had to offer, however, was an experience, for years, exclusive to humans.

Not ponies.

#

The eagerness in Pinkie Pie's eyes as she laid her eyes on the little toy was unmistakable. It was the same eagerness an sugar addict would feature when given a particularly large cookie, or the excitement in Fluttershy's eyes when she laid eyes on the courtship of two particularly adorable bunny rabbits. Twilight Sparkle knew just staring at the overexcited pink pony that she was in store for something, though what that something was she couldn't say just yet.

"Uh, Pinkie Pie, what is that, exactly?" Twilight asked, gesturing with her hoof toward the cube in her mouth.

Spitting the cube out onto the floor, Pinkie Pie exclaimed, in a rush, "It's a puzzle!"

"It doesn't look like a puzzle to me," Twilight mumbled, prodding it with her hoof, nervously.

"It is! The guy who gave it to me told me it was!"

"Do you even know who the pony was?"

"He didn't look like a pony. He was-" Pinkie Pie's eyes trailed off as she stared out into nowhere in particular, her eyes drifting in an odd fashion that left Twilight more than a little nervous. However, after a few seconds of silence, Pinkie Pie regained her eagerness, and, with a laugh, began prodding the puzzle all over.

There was something wrong with the box. That much was clear. Something foul, something wicked. Even now, alone in her library with Pinkie Pie, she could sense another presence with them, something more, as if some pony was breathing down her neck-no, not a pony. Ponies had a very different aura about them. This was something dark, something cruel.

Something evil.

"Uh, look, maybe we should just toss this thing away and just forget about the whole thing," Twilight said, activating her magic, attempting to will the box away. However, to her surprise, the box, after trembling for a little bit, remained steadfast, virtually unaffected by her spell. No matter how much effort she put into it, the box would not budge.

Ordinarily, this would be a cause for alarm, but not to Pinkie Pie. "I guess you can't solve the puzzle with magic, ya spoil sport!"

"I'm not trying to solve-listen, get away from that box!" Twilight snapped, attempting to push Pinkie Pie out of the way. However, there was a mad glint now in Pinkie Pie's eyes as she snatched up the puzzle in her hooves, and backed away, tucking it under her body. She glared at Twilight in a way that, despite being filled with frustration and distrust, was, admittedly, awfully adorable.

"No! You just wanna hog the fun to yourself, don't ya, you fun-sucking funning funner!"

"…what does that even mean?"

"It means-I don't really know-but it's super-duper bad!" Pinkie Pie snapped after a moment of confusion before storming out of the library. The small baby dragon Spike was just walking into the library when the pink earth pony stormed out, so naturally the two collided headlong into one another. Though Spike stared perplexed at the anxious pony, Pinkie Pie didn't stop to apologize, quite an out-of-character move for the girl.

Then again, so was going nuts like that.

"I need you to send a letter right now, Spike," Twilight said, eyes narrowed.

#

The stupid jerk just wanted to hog all the fun. That had to be it! Pinkie Pie was alone in her room, rearranging the box on her own. The sun had gone down, and yet, even now, she refused to actually turn on one of the lights. This was just too much fun to solve. Such a complicated puzzle! Sometimes she'd push a button, and something would happen, but other times she'd push another button, and something else would happen, and then, when she really was really eager, she'd-

Horizontal strips of the puzzle rose up from the cube slowly, and twisted around on its own. Pinkie Pie stared in awe at the structure as the seconds passed. As the strips lowered themselves into place, the puzzle now looking very much like a twisted star, the lights outside her window, the stars and the moon beyond her, seemed to dim, slow at first, but then faster. Soon, she was alone in the room, the only light supplied by the gentle sparks surging around the metallic surface.

For a moment, all was silent.

And then, very slowly, she felt a hook dig into her hind quarter.

"OW! What the heck is that?" Pinkie Pie cried as she felt her body being dragged backward, a sensation alien to her filling her body up for a moment. What was this? It was agonizing, it was brutal, and-

She couldn't be afraid. It was just her imagination. Maybe something fell and was dragging her backward, maybe-

The floor was now moist as she felt another hook dig into her body, tearing at her flesh.

No, just a nightmare. This wasn't real. These things didn't happen. She just needed to laugh! Laugh it off!

Pinkie Pie found herself laughing, much as how she had laughed away her fears as a little pony. However, rather than feel cheerier, she felt fear of a different sort emerge as, from the box, emerged a tall pale shadow, draped in a leather gown. His bald head was covered with thin needles that dug into his flesh in a arrangement, pins pushed in through his bone into his brain.

"Why are you laughing?"

Pinkie Pie, laughing now out of compulsion, out of pure habit alone, stammered out, "Well, it's what I do when I think I'm scared."

"Are you frightened of us now?" Another figure whispered in an inhuman, yet distinctly female, voice. Another pale shadow, her trachea exposed thanks to needles and surgical equipment Pinkie Pie remembered seeing at the doctor's as a baby. She was trembling now as she became aware of the hundreds of hooks dangling from her ceiling, hooks that had, moments ago, not been present.

"I am!"

"And yet you laugh at us. Why do you laugh at us?" the woman asked, acknowledging Pinkie Pie's response, "Do you enjoy this pain?"

Another hook dove down toward the pink horse, sinking underneath her ribcage with a sickening splatter. Pinkie Pie screamed out in agony, her entire body twitching weakly as her legs gave out from under her. Yet now she found she couldn't stop laughing. Even as blood trickled down her pink furry form, she could not help herself. It was as if her body was on auto drive, detached from the sensations enveloping her.

"I-I guess!" Pinkie Pie stammered, hoping the answer would leave the arriving shadows disappointed that they couldn't bully her any longer. She became aware of a giant fat blob of a shadow drawing nearer, caressing her hind legs with his bulging fingers. She kicked at him, but missed.

CHATCHATCHATCHATCHAT

The pink horse turned to see a new figure standing over her, one with a melted face and chattering jaws. Its lips had been pealed back, its bloody gums tearing with the impact of each teeth, his jaws unable to stop chattering away, just as she was unable to stop giggling, despite the horrible pain that consumed her, even now. She wanted to scream, but the laughs had taken so much energy out of her that she couldn't muster the energy any longer.

"Then join us, my curious traveler in the limits of pain," the leader of these shadow people said, extending a hand, "Join us explorers of human misery, or, in your unique case, animal misery. We are always open to learning the potential of any species, though humans have always been of particular interest to us."

"But-but-what about my friends?" Pinkie Pie moaned, weakly.

"They can join you, so long as they choose to," the female asked, weakly, "They can join the Cenobites, as you have chosen to, pleasurable girl."

"Okay, just take these hooks out. They hurt."

"Hurt?" chuckled the leader as the hooks slowly hung lower from the ceiling, dangling inches from Pinkie Pie's eyes, "In mere moments, this pain will be a mere memory."

"Oh, good, because I really don't-"

"It will be but a footnote in your Odyssey of agony."

The hooks dove down, and plunged, all at once, into Pinkie Pie.

She finally screamed.

#

"What was that sound?" Rarity stammered, jumping up as Twilight collected the final member of her crew, final save, of course, for Pinkie Pie. Her white mane of fur looked, if anything, paler than usual as the blood drained from her skin. Fluffershy lowered her head nervously as she feebly trembled, her yellow form shrinking under herself in anxiety.

"It sounded like it came from Pinkie Pie's place," the pale amber Applejack stammered, her eyes directed toward the house in the distance, the lights all extinguished from within, "But it doesn't look like she's home."

Twilight's eyes narrowed, "Oh, she's home alright. I can tell."

"What makes you so sure?" Rainbow Dash asked, her blue form held confidently as her hooves trembled.

"I can sense it," Twilight said, approaching the house in front of the others, remembering her Princess's response to her warning about the events. She had been told to be cautious, as any artifact immune to pony magic was a serious threat to be reckoned with. Even the princess had sensed the wicked power enter their world. She knew not how it had appeared here, nor was any answer given as to how to stop it.

All Twilight knew was that it was something not of their world.

Not of any world.

Applejack broke down Pinkie Pie's door hastily before the ponies trotted inside, glancing around. Pinkie Pie must've done some redecorating since their last arrival here, seeing as how these new hooks dangling along the walls were a new addition here. They clanked and clattered dangerously along the walls and ceiling as they passed by, as if they were hands high above their heads reaching out for them, begging to play with them.

Fluttershy didn't even make it through the front door. She huddled in a ball at the doorway, her huddled mass shivering in fear. "What's the matter? Scared?" Rainbow Dash laughed, louder than she ought to, "Don't you remember that time in the forest when Pinkie Pie helped us laugh away all our fears? I mean, we've been through more together than just this, right?"

"I guess so," Fluttershy said in a soft, whispery voice.

"You just can't be scared of this sort of thing-AH!" A claw tumbled from the ceiling, leaving Rainbow Dash flustered and horrified, her chest heaving.

"You were saying?" Rarity mumbled, eyes narrowed.

"Look, we need to get Pinkie Pie out of here before something really bad happens to her!" Twilight said, turning toward the empty room, at the end finding a stairway. The ponies, after a few moments of collecting themselves, nervously trotted up to the room above them. Every second, around every shadow, Twilight remembered how Pinkie Pie had brought up their spirits so long ago. Their friend was too brave to let this sort of fear possess and consume her, so why should they be any less brave than her?

Was even she brave enough to handle this?

They pushed open the door to Pinkie Pie's bedroom, and found a sight that left them rather perplexed. Pinkie Pie was in the room, or at least something resembling her. She was pink, maybe a slight shade darker. She was covered in what looked like fishing hooks. Did she just trip and have a few hooks stuck on her fur or-or maybe she had this static shock and the hooks were magnetized to her body or-or-she had to come up with a mundane explanation for those hooks, and that red fluid that seeped down from the flesh around the hooks.

Wait, that wasn't red fur on her body.

That was exposed muscle.

Pinkie Pie had been totally skinned alive.

And yet, for whatever reason, she was still alive?

"Oh hi guys!" Pinkie Pie said, cheerfully smiling as she trotted over, her skinless mass of flesh visible for all them to see.

"What the hell happened to you?" Rarity stammered, eyes wide as Fluttershy fainted at her side.

"Oh, well, I guess I had a make-over, so, uh, surprise?" Pinkie Pie asked, smiling sheepishly.

"How the heck are you acting normal? Your skin! It's gone!" Rainbow Dash stammered, eyes wide, "I mean, how!"

"Well, ya know, you can do a lot more without skin," Pinkie Pie laughed as her eyeball popped out, dangling from her scarlet, empty eye socket by a thin and pierced optic nerve. Rainbow Dash nearly vomited over the floor. "Hey, are you guys okay? You all look really weird."

Twilight could sense there was something else wrong with their friend, aside from the obvious things. A dark aura drifted about her. It hadn't consumed her yet, no, but there was something evil surrounding her, enveloping her, strangling the goodness out of her heart, perhaps even possessing her. It had taken hold of her ever since she first grabbed hold of that box, and was manipulating her, addicting her to the sensation of pain.

On some level, whether intentional or not, she was enjoying this.

"Listen, Pinkie Pie, maybe we ought to look at that box," Twilight said, glancing over at the puzzle box in the center of the room.

"NO!" Pinkie Pie snapped, her face contorting in rage for a moment as the walls literally began to bleed around her. For a moment, it looked like the pony was about to ram down her friend, but she relaxed, laughing nervously as the blood began to seap through the floorboards once more. "I mean, no, not at all! I'm sorry, I'm just a little stressed when certain people TRY TO TAKE AWAY FUN PUZZLES and-and-maybe we can have a party! I can introduce you to my new friends."

"New friends?" Rarity asked as Fluttershy came to her senses, shaking herself awake.

"Oh yeah! Let me introduce you to them."

From the shadows emerged four figures, each dressed in tight leather. Their grotesque faces, their mutilated forms, the darkness exuding from their bodies, it was enough to overwhelm Twilight Sparkle and make her nearly cry in terror. Fluttershy took one look at them and fainted, while Rainbow Dash fell against Applejack, who shook her friend off of her body, glaring at the four shadows in hatred and anger.

Rarity, however, had a very different reaction.

"Oh my God, you're wearing that? It just makes your pale skin look paler!" she complained, drawing nearer to the obvious leader, a tall figure with pins jetting out of his skull, "And really, what is with that hair-do? It's like you want to go for the bald look, but then those pins make it look like you're trying to give yourself hair. Get a wig or something! It's as if you don't have a woman in your life to tell you every morning how much of a mess you look like."

"Rarity, please don't insult the eldritch abomination about to kill us," Twilight mumbled as Applejack drew nearer, a furious expression in her eyes.

"Just what did you do to Pinkie Pie?" she snapped, eyes narrowed in fury.

"We awoke her to a new sensation of pleasure," the leader said, his dark eyes narrowed as his lips curled into an amused little grin, "We have shown her an experience beyond experience, joys beyond even the furthest reaches of human imagination. We have introduced her to true pain."

"But why? Why're you even here, anyway?" Twilight asked, eyebrows raised in confusion.

"Experience," the female shadow spoke, which was shocking considering her trachea was exposed. How was this human even speaking?

"What kind of experience?" Rainbow Dash asked, finding solace in someone, at last, speaking in terms she'd understand, "Like a race?"

"A race of sorts, perhaps," the leader replied, "A race to fill our Hell with all the accursed souls seeking absolute agony."

"Well, Pinkie Pie doesn't want any of that," Twilight Sparkle snapped, "All she wants is just to have fun and-"

"But I am having fun," Pinkie Pie laughed as hooks attached to chains emerged from under the floorboards, weaving up like snakes coiling out of a basket, "I'm having so much fun right now, and I want all of you to have just as much fun as I am!"

Before Rarity could escape, the hooks coiled around her legs, and pulled her into the air, hanging her body upside down. She screamed and thrashed as the hooks coiled down her legs, wrapping around her torso. Pinkie Pie giggled fiercely as the hooks gently traced gentle sketches of smiley faces into her skin, blood dripping down her heaving chest. As she screamed in horror, Pinkie Pie could only giggle.

Twilight tried to use her magic to stop the hooks, but found she couldn't.

She needed the box.

"Ah, to heck with this!" Applejack snapped, darting toward the shadowy figures, a look of fury in her eyes. She kicked outward with her paws at the nearest shadow, a large fat spherical monster. The hooves collided into his chest, knocking him backward, but only for a moment. As the sumo figure regained his footing, he withdrew a hook from the pockets of his leather, and swiped at Applejack. She recoiled, weaving through the slashes through the air, until the creature nailed her in her front left leg, tugging forward.

Applejack was on the ground, struggling to break free under the weight of the new monster. He sloppily tore his hook out from her leg, a low, guttural chuckle on his lips. He raised the staff above his head, above her head, above her widening eyes, grinning.

If Rainbow Dash didn't tackle the monster and throw him through the wall, Applejack's skull might've been ripped open.

"Thanks!" Applejack stammered, weakly bleeding on the ground as Rainbow Dash's wings beat against the air. As the determined pegasus nodded in response, shrugging off the gratitude, she turned toward the three remaining shadows, and then at the box in the center of the room.

Rainbow Dash soared toward the box as Twilight Sparkle raced there herself. The two glanced at one another before turning toward two of the shadowy creatures. Twilight found herself staring at the teeth of a tall, lean figure, whose very nails began to grow into sharp points, fearsome organic blades that slashed toward Twilight's face. She collided into the hard wood floor, her cheek sliced open, her very teeth exposed. She struggled to cry, to even scream, but it hurt her skull to much to physically move.

As the new monster stood over her, claws at her throat, Rainbow Dash soared to her aid, ready to pound down at the chattering ghoul. However, just as she was inches away from the freak's skull, she was pulled away as a dozen hooks surged out from behind her into her wings and haunches. She was held out inches away from the female ghoul, struggling feebly to escape. However, with every thrash of her hind legs or wings, the hooks dug in deeper into her flesh. She cried out in agony as a puddle of blood formed beneath her twitching limbs.

"No more interruptions, ponies," the leader chuckled in a voice crueler than the night as it devoured the sun, "And please, no more resistance. It prolongs the foreplay to our orgy of suffering, and we all are too eager to indulge in our pleasures to stop now."

Twilight glanced at Rarity as the hooks began to curl around her throat. Pinkie Pie was being devoured by the darkness, swallowed up, and soon they'd be just as possessed as they were, mindless slaves to a wickedness that their world could not comprehend. However, that didn't mean that she was just going to sit back and let it all come to pass!

She couldn't fight back with her body, but she could try to use magic.

Just because it didn't work on the box didn't mean it wouldn't work on these monsters!

With a mere suggestion of her will, a jet of light burst from Twilight's horn into the chattering ghoul's face. His jaws were, for a moment, forced still. Since his jaws could no longer chatter, the convulsions had to migrate elsewhere, spreading from his neck to his fingers, convulsing wildly, shaking wildly, his bone grinding against itself until the cartilage between bone was crushed, and bone gnashed with bone.

As the chattering freak collapsed, his body riddled with convulsions, Twilight darted toward the box, all her energy focused on her one goal. If she had control of the box, maybe her magic could work against these monsters. Maybe she could send them back to their world. Maybe she could save Pinkie Pie and the others.

Or maybe the female monster would just stomp down on her neck, and keep her pressed against the floor.

"You're an eager one to die, aren't you?" the female ghoul chuckled as snake-like chains began to wrap themselves around her legs, pulling her tightly against the floor, "Diving into hell like you, surely you enjoy this pain, don't you? Don't worry, where we'll be taking-HUCCCHK!"

The female ghoul might have found a way to speak with an exposed trachea, but no one could speak after their trachea was crushed by Fluttershy's hoof. The female demon gargled on her own blood as she collapsed against the floor, weakly twitching in her own blood. As the leader drew alert, a hundred chains soaring toward Fluttershy, the horse hastily kicked the box toward Twilight.

Upon impact with her hoof, the box sparkled, and the chains fell limp.

"So that's how it works," Fluttershy mumbled, awestruck, before she saw the female who had fallen moments before rise up, clutching her demolished throat with her spare hands while reaching out with her other. The yellow pegasus effortlessly flew out of her reach, but she failed to escape the new chains that came for her, that plunged into her wings and held her stationary in the air.

But, as they bothered with Fluttershy, Twilight grabbed hold of the box, and slammed it against the ground. More sparks surged outward was the puzzle began to stir, pieces rising and rearranging themselves before her eyes. A jet of electricity surged out from the box, slamming into the female ghoul's chest. For a moment, she was grinning triumphantly, admiring Fluttershy's trembling form as she began fingering the injury inflicted upon her trachea. However, soon, fury enveloped her eyes. She turned toward Twilight, and snarled in a gargling, bloodsoaked snarl. Moments later, however, the electricity fully enveloped her, and, with a large crack like thunder, she was dragged into the box, swallowed up into a field of magical sparks.

Twilight realized at once what was to be done. She smacked the box against the ground again and again as two new bolts surged outward, colliding with the fallen demons from before. They were swallowed up in energy before being dragged toward the box, their bodies stretching and thinning as if being sucked into a black hole, dragged screaming back to their personal hell. However, as Twilight Sparkle turned toward the leader, raising the box yet again to send him away, the figure chuckled.

"What do you intend on doing? Your companion is one of us now. She will never come back with the likes of you now that she has had a taste of true pleasure."

Twilight Sparkle did not respond. After all, when your good friend, now a skinless hellbound demon, trots up to you and stomps on your skull into the floor, it is difficult to speak. As Pinkie Pie pressed down on her former friend's skull, a maniacal grin crossed her lips, one of absolute pleasure. The darkness had almost entirely swallowed her up, almost devoured her soul and left something rotten and dead in its place.

Almost.

Her horn sparkled for a moment, along with the box, as the leader stared at the sight, perplexed. "What sort of magic are you casting, witch?"

Twilight now could feel the box's magic swirling around her. There was a sickening sensation of agony overwhelming her, a sort of foulness that knew no bounds. There was an urge, for a moment, in Twilight Sparkle that made her want to maim something, to ram her horn up another pony's chest and maim thenm and tear them apart and stab and stab and maim and kill and rape and-

What was wrong with her?

The sparks of the box surged outward into Pinkie Pie's chest in unison with Twilight Sparkle's magic. She could see the wicked cloud of evil swirling around her companion, and, as the sparks dragged that dark cloud back into the confines of the box, she felt, for a moment, a divide between the ghoul Pinkie Pie had become and the innocent free spirit of their familiar friend.

Twilight just widened the gap until the evil was totally separated from Pinkie.

Their friend collapsed weakly against the ground, her skin and eye returned to their former glory, her body trembling in utter terror, her eyes wide, as the box began mending itself once more. There was one last thing to do, Twilight realized, as the hooks loomed over her, poised to shred the purple unicorn's flesh from her bone.

She took hold of the box, and used its magic one more time.

The hooks redirected themselves, lashing directly at the leader now. His eyes widened in shock for a moment as the hooks plunged into his body. The hooks around her friends removed themselves, and chose to attack their summoner. The leader could do little more than snarl in agony as his body was pulled higher up, his arms tugged outward like a cross. As the box began to sparkle once more, dark energy swirling around it like a vacuum, Twilight Sparkle felt herself drawing closer to it. All that power, all that great strength, all remained in that one little cube. Imagine all the things she could do with that sort of strength? All the good she could do, like eliminating anyone who ever hurt her, anyone who ever made her feel sad, or perhaps showing ultimate pleasure to-

Twilight was yanked backward, she realized, as Pinkie Pie grabbed hold of her mane with her teeth. As the swirling wind tugged against the chains, she realized that the others ponies were limping out of the room, desperately. Twilight might be able to heal them once they got out, but, as they all shuffled out of the room, she couldn't help but stare at the box once more as the ghoul was left, crucified on his own hooks.

He almost looked amused.

"Checkmate," the leader said, almost as if he had just lost a simple game of chess.

And then the chains ripped his body apart so that his innards spiraled, piece by piece, into the box.

And then all was silent.

#

"So this is the box?" Spike asked, holding it in his fingers.

"Yeah," Twilight said. It had taken a week before Pinkie Pie was willing to go back inside her house, and longer still before any of them drew near to that box. There was an unspoken agreement never to speak of the incident again unless utterly necessary, and, even then, Pinkie Pie had cried to each of them individually about how horrifying the experience was. It was sad, because, even though none of them wanted to talk about it, they all felt the need to talk about it, if not only to get it out of their system.

It was a lose-lose situation, in any case.

"So you told the princess not to touch it no matter what, right?" Twilight asked.

"Yup," Spike replied.

"She's just gonna lock it in a cell and leave it there, and then throw that cell into a lake after walling it up in fifteen layers of bricks before teleporting that lake to the moon, right?"

"Don't worry! No one will ever see this box again," Spike said before blowing against the box with his dragon's breath, spiriting it away to the princess's chambers, "It would be awful if there was more than one box, wouldn't it?" Spike was about to laugh, but, after a deadly glare from Twilight Sparkle, it shut up.

Sighing, Twilight and Spike filed out of their house, both shaking their heads in satisfaction. "Well, at least that's over, and nothing creepy will happen like that again."

They opened the door, and found themselves staring at a tall clown, a chuckle on his lips. With a scarlet balloon in his clawed hand, he asked, with a vicious laugh, "Hello there, do you want a balloon?"

THE END

#

Thank you for reading! Again, please don't take this seriously, I hope you enjoyed it, and, on some level, had a good laugh about it…and no, I won't be writing a My Little Pony crossover with It. However, I might choose to write other unlikely crossovers before Halloween involving nightmarish icons of horror clashing with innocent children's cartoons, if you enjoyed this nightmarish romp.

…by the way, in case you didn't realize, this was a Hellraiser crossover…just in case you couldn't tell by now…


End file.
